I'm trying to talk myself into loving the pace I am stuck at right now...it feels like a whirlwind.

Bit it does makes me appreciate...

long showers,

my bed at night,

friends who check in to make sure I'm still alive,

red lights,

and even grocery store lines.

Some days we just need to be forced into standing still so we can be observant to how special the day is.

frazzled can be such a fun word

There is something very lovely about September melting away. For me, it's a kick in the behind to get motivated - but I am deeply aware of a transition of time occurring. The flowers are beginning to fade and the leaves are dropping from the trees. The morning air feels crisp and oh how I love to breathe deep, to pull that cool calmness in. I don't see this season as an end of what was...but a simple regrouping to prepare the world for what will be. School has begun and my credential classes are in full swing...never have I been so busy, but I love it. It's not about if I can do this or not. It's not even about what will be the breaking point. Last night as I watched a fellow classmate in tears wondering how they were going to manage their time and work to survive...I realized it's all about prayer. It's true that what is expected of us is unreasonable (budget cuts equate to combining the winter semester with the fall and spring)...but the outcome is worth it. Next spring when the flowers sprout, we will have forgotten all about how this season helped to prepare us for what will undoubtedly be beautiful.

tidbits

Little tidbits of my days ~

Kristin moved back and we haven't heard anything from her landlord. Her stuff is everywhere and we now have two of everything...so a garage sale it is NEXT WEEKEND!

Mr. B is in Louisville Kentucky helping his mom fulfill her "Bucket list." We have friends that live there and she wanted to see them one last time.

I'm loving my part-time job, but I am amazed at how messy people are. When they buy Hallmark cards they aren't very neat with their selection. Geez.

Yesterday was a day of adventure. Helicopter ride, shopping with Kristin and a girl's night at home. We watched Under the Tuscan Sun.

Today is a good day to simplify, get organized and begin thinking about school. Yes, it starts on Wednesday! Am I ready? You bet I am.

Below are pictures from yesterday's flight.

welcome september

It is with open arms I welcome September. I am looking forward to the turning of leaves and all the changes that occur. There are already a sweeping's worth of leaves that gather at the door nearly every day. There is much anticipation, contemplation, and wonder about the days ahead.

Our home has seemingly had a revolving door for my daughter as she has tested her wings last summer and now flown away this summer, only to be back home AGAIN! An empty nest is not meant to be just yet. Last Wednesday night both girls experienced what electricity feels like when it goes through your body and a phone call home urged them to call the landlord right away. This began a series of questions and left the girls with no place to stay because the house was uninhabitable due to substandard wiring. Who wants to be electrocuted? Long story, short...the girls terminated their lease and we did a quick move to be out by last night. Now we wait for the landlord to "cool off" and hope she doesn't press the lease issue in court. A little common sense should tell her safety comes first. The girls can commute to school until their semester is over in December...a little inconvenient, but better than the alternative.

ever so thankful

I've been so busy...not even sure how it all happened! It's like I woke up one morning and found out I had all these obligations and appointments. Phew...where did my summer break go? I've been working part-time merchandising Hallmark cards, doing mom and dad's weekly shopping and shuttling mom to appointments and then in my spare time I got a wild hair and decided to open an etsy shop...that's been keeping me fairly busy! I'll reveal THAT to you once I get it all dialed in and looking pretty! And then...I may be hired to edit someone's novel, but won't find out about that until tomorrow. I ordered my books for school...5 books = $300...yikes! And tuition went sky high too! It's a good thing much of my busy work equates to money or I'd just sit down and cry.

Kristin got moved into her place and I've talked to her every day this week...bless her heart, she does make every effort to make me feel better and tonight she'll be home for the weekend. In fact, both kids will be home again this weekend (it helps when their boyfriend/girlfriend lives in town).

My heart is thankful today for...

busy hands ~
encouragement ~
peace of mind ~
a love for all things vintage ~
sweet blogging friends who don't forget about me ~
and a tail-waggin' dog ~

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

~Anaïs Nin

I am learning in life that sometimes it uses less energy to be a doer instead of thinking about things and letting the weight of their consequences be a burden for days.

I am learning that patience really is a virtue and sometimes its quality isn't revealed until we try being patient for other people when they are not.

I am learning that love has absolutely nothing to do with possession, partnership, or reciprocation.

I am learning that self discovery at any age is just an excuse to try new things.

This has been an exciting week at many levels. I'm thankful for each day that passed and the joy that was realized. This weekend Kristin moves out and Monday I start a new part-time job. I'm happy to anticipate the fall season - it is sure to be a time of change and an opportunity to turn the bittersweetness of an empty nest into a place of respite and contemplation. There are adventures around the corner, I can feel it.

the Earl saga...

Today has been such a blessing. I cannot really describe in words the things that have transpired since my phone rang this morning and Earl's daughter was at the other end. Actually, evidence of God's grace has been showered upon me all week and it took this for me to realize my heart was being filled up, my spirit being replenished all along. If ever I needed to be reminded of God's grace and mercy - it was now. So...I tracked down Earl tonight and gave him the good news. He was very happy, although you can't tell by the picture! He was able to talk to his daughter and it was really cute. He was very nervous and his words became somewhat jumbled, but he managed to carry on a short conversation. He found out his mother is still alive and that too made him very happy. After I got back home I received a phone call from a different daughter and she said the family phone lines are buzzing in Ohio - everyone is so happy - son, father, and grandpa is returning home. We talked and talked and a bus ticket has been purchased for tomorrow night at midnight. My son is home for the weekend, so he will accompany me to the bus depot to see Earl off. Our bus depot couldn't be in a worse location and I would never go there that late for any reason, but I know God has had his hand in this from day one, so I will trust in that. I will stay until the bus pulls away and then I will come home and call one of his daughters to let her know he is en route. His trip will take 2 days, 12 hours, and 30 minutes. He will have 3 transfers and supposedly the bus drivers will give him transfer assistance. Tomorrow evening we are going to pick Earl up a bit early and clean him up somehow. Not quite sure about the details on that yet. I have never brought a homeless person home with me before, but I see no other way for him to get cleaned up on such short notice. He doesn't know he's leaving tomorrow night. Another surprise awaits him...lol. Please pray for a smooth journey with no complications. I'm stuffing every one of his pockets with important information! This has been a long time coming. Earl is one of my favorites and I will miss his big smile and southern charm, but I am so very happy to be putting the pieces back into place. I am not sad in his departure, but very honored to have crossed his path.

charred remains

Over the years I've become quite the multi-tasker...until today. Apparently I cannot chat and cook dinner at the same time. It's not every day a friend gets a tattoo. I wanted all the details and then *poof*...burnt offerings. I'll just say I was testing the smoke detectors...think they'll believe me? Something tells me they will...lol.

To Do List

I have so many thoughts...contemplations meandering through my mind. Some of them full of hope and promise--running wild with happiness and then some that drift sadly to rest at the bottom of my heart...sediment I need to shake up and get rid of. The past few days have been an emotional wake. While I tend to do well during stressful times and keep a positive and encouraging frame of mind, that doesn't mean at some point I don't need to deal with the weight that fills me up. Last Friday my mother-in-law was diagnosed with a rare disease--hardening of the lungs. Have you ever heard of this? The doctors have given her only two years at the most to live. This comes as quite a shock to us as she seems fairly healthy now, with only the average aging ailments to burden her. She's made a "bucket list," so my husband is going to take time off from work to travel with her a few places to accomplish those things she wants to do. I think we all have a bucket list, but what we don't have is a pre-determined time frame in which we need to get everything finished...well, maybe we DO have the time frame, we just don't have knowledge about it. I don't think I would want to know, would you?


There is so much to be thankful for in the every day and no matter what kind of "bucket list" we have it seems to me that our efforts should be grounded in our spiritual attempt to bring the very best of ourselves to God. If we were to lay a gift at His feet we would make certain it was the best of what we had...maybe not the best available, but the very best WE could offer. Shouldn't this be how our lives are lived? Instead of chasing quantity and training our minds to praise God for our tangible blessings, shouldn't we praise Him by the quality of time we fill each moment up with? Imagine offering Him a moment of silence filled with your own deep appreciation of all the unique observations you've been able to experience. I think He'd rather like that - knowing our capacity for love included the very experiences He gifts us with daily. It's strange for me to think about my own mortality. I naturally feel the urge to want to accomplish whatever I have let slip by the wayside or have been unable to do, but part of me also feels an acute need to just be silent and enjoy the every day just as it has been given to me. I do have a "bucket list" but I think I'd rather it be termed something more innovative and renewable to reflect the living aspect...to do for the sake of joy instead of because time is running out. The latter is a given.

Life is short. Be happy.

a flower withered

The first time I met him he was face down in the grass with his own saliva puddling beneath him. He eventually stood up and staggered over to me so that I might serve him food. His wife was angry with him for passing out. She vented to me as she braided my hair with her rough hands. Her words were sharp, but I felt her devotion to him. The second time I met him, he came up behind me and reached down to give me a hug. My lack of familiarity caused me to cringe as I wasn't quite sure if it was going to be a choke hold or a hug. That's the day I began to develop trust. Our third meeting, I found him crumpled up as a child, sobbing, soiled, but not entirely intoxicated to the point he wasn't aware. My heart went out to him. I sat beside him on a park bench with food and kind words. I let him use my cell phone to call his wife. When their conversation was over she wanted to talk to me...she just wanted to know if he was alright. She was at her little part-time job and he was lonely for her. She was his strength. There have been occasions when my daughter has accompanied me to feed the homeless so when her ambulance received a call to take a man to hospice, she recognized their faces. He is dying of liver failure and his wife is by his side. I am reminded of how small the world is and just how often our paths cross, and for me, it's in the most unlikely places. I'm convinced none of this is by accident. I cannot tell you everything I have discovered about myself (and others) just by looking past the dirt and the alcoholism. I have learned the true value of a simple quarter. I have learned to see beauty in a smile with no teeth. I have learned to abort judgment and rely on instinct. I have learned that unconditional love has many obstacles. I have learned that I really can shop and cook for 40 people in less than two hours for under $20 every time. I have also learned that men with opposite status can die in the same hospice room. There is much irony in life.

hearts in the wind

There is such sweetness to behold at every corner I turn. Some times I just want the moment to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out and last forever. God is so good, truly...He has opened my eyes to the smallest details to appreciate and the silliest whims to indulge in so that I might smile on the inside before it even reaches what is made visible to others. I think when you have an impulse to run through the sprinklers you should just do it. If you want to buy a stranger a lunch, do it. If you want to chop off all those long skirts and make them short ones, do it.

love makes the world go round

Some times we do what we do because we have love in our hearts and other times it's because we just don't have any sense. The trick is learning to distinguish the difference.










Thank you Mae for this sweet award...so many things have been blessing my days. If you have left a comment on my blog in the month of July, I'd really like you to take this award and put it on your blog...if you like posting awards...if you don't, then I expect you'll be spreadin' some love around anyway! Please share one of the spontaneous things you like doing to show a loved one they are special in your eyes ~

perspective

I love change. I enjoy the promise of each new morning not knowing what to fully expect. I love that feeling when a plan comes together and it rings of God's touch...when the most complex things are suddenly made to seem simple, ordinary, and very do-able. Makes me wonder what there ever was to worry about. If only the mind would realize what the heart already does...

Joy: (noun) a source of great pleasure

Things that bring me joy...

Sweet, thoughtful text messages...just because.

An adventurous heart.

An empty garden patch and a basket full of seeds.

Friends that drop by with friendship dough.

Poems that say "Read me again!"

Hearing my kids sing when they think no one is listening.

The scent of lavender blooming.

A hug from Earl.

Fresh strawberries.

Spontaneous phone calls: "Hey mom, do you want a coffee?"

We are each blessed uniquely and completely.

Please share some of your joys,

together we will sing our praises ~

looking in

It has been an exhaustively busy week for me and some days found me looking for a quiet space to just sit and breathe so that I might regain my composure. And then I wondered what would be so bad about others seeing me frazzled, at my wit's end...disheveled and imperfect. Maybe it's because I am a mother that I feel like I have to accomplish everything and have it all be its best....or maybe it's just how I am wired. In any case, today is the day where that mental banner of "I can't do it all" is being examined. The rules are changing, not only for my well being, but for the messages I am sending to my daughter.

from the "olden days"

Last weekend I picked up a few photographs and things that my biological father's caretaker thought I should have. It's been interesting sorting through them and seeing what he looked like when he was a little boy. I thought I would share some of them here. There were lots of photographs from when he was young and he even kept some of his cub scout cards from 1948. Coming from a scouting family I thought these were very interesting. There was even a couple of pictures of me that I had given him through the years...I thought I would share those too. Scroll over each picture for a few more tidbits.

welcome rain

I woke up this morning to the tinny rhythm of the rain falling on the rusty old shed in our backyard. The rain makes me feel cozy inside. There’s just something about it that promises renewal and cleansing. While I snuggled into the comforting billows of warm white cotton my mind began to unfold the day and its potential. I always have high hopes when the day is young. I have places I need to go and I’m ready to get a head start on the upcoming semester’s workload. I’ve never had a break quite this lengthy before and I’m beginning to get restless. My mind is very deceiving in the way it convinces me I need gradable assignments to keep it alert. That old saying “Use it or lose it” comes to mind…yesterday I even added a sudoku book to my shopping list for today, that’s how desperate I am to think. I don’t know if it is the challenge of something new or the need to shake off complacency, but the rain is sure to wash away this fog collecting in my thoughts before it settles into a funk, or maybe it’s too late for that. I don’t own any rainboots and today that’s part of the celebratory plan…I want to stomp in the first sizable puddle I see and try to regain a fresh perspective on all this free time.

morning s-t-r-e-t-c-h

I am so enjoying this break from school, except I am beginning to get my schedule out of whack...staying up later and sleeping in longer. I've been reading more, writing more, and just enjoying not having any obligations. The weather has been so nice and I've had the joy of experiencing the sun on my face, warming my bones...it has even inspired me to get back into a yoga routine and I feel so much better. When my body feels better it motivates me to eat healthier too, so it's a win-win situation. Last night there were more homeless people out, more than I was prepared for, but it was nice to learn a few new names and offer what I had. In our area, many of the homeless congregate around the public library because there are covered places to sit and eat. When our time changed I began arriving earlier to avoid being in the dark, but the library is still open to the public and it has been very interesting to me watching "normal" people respond to the homeless groups as they leave the library. Sometimes I wonder if they think I am homeless too. I have seen people nearly trip over themselves avoiding a path and I have seen parents pull their children near and have them look away. I know in my heart that is part of the problem...too many people look away...and of course I understand the mentality behind their actions, but I wonder if God does...I pray harder for those people than I do for those who don't know where their next meal is coming from. Next week: an extra pot of soup and pictures in the park. I'm excited to share some of those sweet and soiled souls with you.


Aren't the Koi located on my sidebar so darned cute?! I got them here. So just sit a spell, listen to the music, and enjoy feeding them (click anywhere near the fish)...very relaxing....or maybe I'm just easily entertained...lol.

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think,

all the walks I want to take,

all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.

~John Burroughs

sharing the love

Today promises to be filled with JOY. My house is still clean from the weekend so that gives me extra time to play. I'm meeting a friend for lunch. I'm starting a new book. There is a nice cool breeze outside. I have almost four weeks of summer vacation left. Donna from Cottage Days & Journeys has gifted me with this lovely award. I am bursting with energy with a multitude of possibilities in how I can spend it. It's going to be another BEAUTIFUL day.



Thank you Donna for Sharing The Love! I visited Memoirs of a Mommy to see how this award originated and it is a touching story. I would encourage everyone to read it. It brings great joy to help others, but we never really know when we might be the ones needing a little generosity ourselves. This story speaks volumes about the grace that is found in the relationship between giving and receiving. I believe I am suppose to share this award and I always have such difficulty picking and choosing for these things and especially for this one because you have ALL shared your love with encouraging words and little hugs along the way. I would really like to share this loving little icon with every one of you who take the time to read my blog...so take it and then YOU go share the love! Oh and if you are looking for ideas or ways to reach out to others...visit Here or Here. Sharing The Love is a big idea, but I really think we can pull this off if we put all of our small ideas together and I would LOVE to hear what yours is or how others have helped you.

Make sure when you take this award you link it back to its creator at

Memoirs of a Mommy.