promises kept

I am ever so gently reminded that while things are constantly changing, they also stay the same. The weather is getting cooler, the time change brings the darkness in about 5:30 and people are forever regretful and apologetic for having done something they wish they hadn't. Last night I went downtown an hour earlier than usual because the winter shelter opened up for the homeless and they have to be there by 5:30 to claim a space for the night. The past few weeks have been sprinkled with a little violence here and there in and around where I am serving. Last night most of my downtown friends were en route to the shelter so I didn't have to worry about them being hungry or cold, but that left me with the few that seem to be the instigators in the group and who just so happen to be the ones refusing to use the shelter. I had each of them approach me seperately to apologize for their behavior over the past few weeks and foreign to my character, I am finding my voice with these people so that it no longer bothers me to tell them what's on my heart. Sometimes they don't like to hear what I have to say, but they keep coming around to hear more (of course the food helps!). Handing out the coats didn't go as I had imagined since most of them were not there. I did give out one blanket and I ended up serving 10 people all together. There is a young girl of about 24 or so named Julia, her street name is Mouse...she is quite beautiful and I just want to pull her out of this situation so badly before she begins to look and behave like the others. She clearly has an addiction and is often under the influence when I serve her, but when she looks me in the eye I see that she carries a degree of shame and pride hidden away. She doesn't belong there and I hope to somehow convince her of that. I have to tell you, it's somewhat of a relief that the shelter has opened, because my group has grown to 35 or 40 people over the past three weeks and I don't get to know them when there are that many. I like to be able to sit with them and hear how their week went and listen to their stories. I like looking into their weathered faces and seeing their eyes light up when I remember something they told me and I like holding their grungy hands when they reach out to thank me. Some of them say "Love you" when I leave and I believe they do. I believe I've come to love them too, even the ones who fight and argue, the ones I have to separate and tell to chill out. Last week as I was leaving, someone had taped a piece of paper to my windshield that read "God keeps His promises" and as I read it I knew this was a message I needed to share with them and internalize for myself. We are gifted with a new day every day, a new chance, a fresh opportunity to be a better person than we were the day before. He forgives us and loves us unconditionally and I'm beginning to see that there is a big responsibility with that. I just hope I can spark a little encouragement about what a new day might hold...sometimes I even have to remind myself!

On a side note**

I am going to host a Christmas ornament exchange...it will be FuN...check back for details!