I didn't get much sleep last night.
Jim died... for sure this time.
Hospice called me at 1:38 a.m. and told me and then asked where they should send the body. I told them they would have to get in contact with his caregiver as she was the one who made those decisions. Then they called me at 4:30 a.m. and they were quite frustrated at not having been able to reach her. I told them she is probably sleeping and would get her messages when she wakes up and I'm sure she would be in contact with them. They didn't like that and pressed me for a decision and of course I understand that they are staring at a piece of paper that says I am his daughter, but I told them again I don't know what plans she has already made and therefore I cannot tell them to do something I know nothing about. Then I received a phone call from the Coroner's office saying they were on their way out to pick him up and I was going to have to pay a storage bill since I was next of kin, because they were unable to contact his caregiver. The Coroner then proceeded to tell me that since he had $450 in his wallet, he didn't qualify for the county cremation and that someone would have to pay for that as well and could I cover those expenses? So then I had to go through this lengthy explanation to them what the real deal was, but my goodness what an ordeal...I lay in bed and thought of "the process" when someone dies. So much transpires in a short amount of time...just the reality of the moment I suppose that life goes on with or without us and we are left to sort out the insensitivities of others doing their job and the reality that death ultimately has the last word...goodbye.
9 comments:
just know you are in my thoughts and prayers, joni....i know this is "tangled" situation....i wish you comfort in your thoughts.
love and hugs,
kimberly
my sweet, sweet friend...I sit here and cry for you, just the thought of losing someone we know all of lives or just a little bit of our lives still pulls at the heart string's, this may sound foolish but I am so grateful he assisted in your being here, here in this world, in my heart, my thoughts, just knowing I can reach for your hand, and to know it will always be here, how lucky I am, and I seriously mean this, God blessed him and everyone else with your presence, I so love you, and I will ask God to hold you close in his arms, to ease any confusion's you have, I love you Joni, Hug's, kisse's, and prayers...Nettie
I have waited ... a long pause ... and the 'voice' that I hear says "Joni, my precious and most gentle Spirit ... I want to say ... nothing. I am aware of a genuine desire to (quite specifically) take your hand in mine ... and go. Go for a very unhurried walk."
No words. Just my Heart and Yours ... speaking their own language of "I like you"'s, and "I am glad that we have been given each other."
This is the image that I would place in your quiet awareness.
I love You, Joni.
Sorry. May comfort and peace find you.
Joni... when I read your post I felt your pain. I know your heart and mind must feel so confused and we've talked about this before. God, in His wisdom has all the answers, but doesn't always reveal them to us. I think sometimes it's because we couldn't bear knowing, other times I think it's because He needs for us to understand that we must rely on Him totally. I know you do and that's the only thing that keeps me knowing you will be okay.
Much love and hugs to you this evening, Phyllis
Yes my dear, death does have the last word. I am sorry for your loss and I completely understand the situation having just gone through all of arrangements with my Mother's passing Feb 25th.
God Bless you
Patti
P.S. Just leaving a message to say I do know (no)the difference between bear and bare. I often find my fingers and mind out of sink...lol sync.
Hugs and hope this makes you smile, Phyllis
Hugs love and prayers for you Joni.
I pray for peace and for comfort.
Hugs.
Post a Comment