I have a friend who once said she locked herself up in her room for two days and did nothing but pray. The enduring grace behind this has stayed with me...that she was able to sacrifice her needs and routines for that holy connection, and for two days. I imagine the cleansing she received, and how she must have emerged empty, but full...spent, but energized. I long for that. Not just the emptying and refilling...but what it must have felt like to have two days of bearing all. Being vulnerable willingly...sharing the delivery of imperfections and pretenses to an unconditional God that knows my being better than I do. I love my God. I look for His grace in everything, and while I always find it in the least likely places, I some times have difficulty finding it authentically within.
Two weeks ago while serving my Friday friends, one of the homeless ladies had on an old worn-out pair of mens size 11 shoes. She wears a size 7.5. When she walked her shoes were pulled behind her making a dragging sound, and she laughed about it. It didn't bother her that they looked ridiculously big, or that her feet came out of them from time to time. She was simply pleased to have on a pair of shoes that kept her feet warm. This is God's grace. Soiled hands that reach out to help me carry food or water...and souls who gather in a circle and pass the bag of plastic utensils from one to another, patiently and brotherly, while their stomachs grumble. This is God's grace.
I often look for grace through the simplicity of spirit, or wait for it to spring from ordinary tasks...but suddenly, more and more...He is making me understand it is not through the seeing or even the feeling of. It is, I am realizing, through availability of self...leaving me to ask, How available am I making myself to God? How often do I give Him me...entirely?
I'm having a reflective Sunday, can you tell? Wishing everyone a warm-and-cozy Superbowl weekend ~
9 comments:
Truly beautiful thoughts. Amazing grace. (((hugs)))
thank you, you are so right, I was saying to my boys, who no longer want to go to church with me, that "if they fed their stomachs as much as they feed their souls would they starve to death?" I need to replenish every once in awhile, I can't imagine not doing that. thank you for your reflections.
Hi Joni, good to hear from you, I have not as yet read Jodi Picoult, but have several of her books in the pile.
ahhhhh.....some thoughts along the lines of mine.....the need to make myself wholly available...in a life so full of busy....same prayer every morning and night...and how much has changed?....but he does know my heart....and that is comforting....bless you sweet friend! i know we talked some of this when we met...maybe we can talk more when we are together again!
love you,
kimberly
This is so beautiful my sweet friend, makes me think "How often do I give myself willing?" I have to confess here these past few months...not like I should. I LOVE you and here I go AGAIN with the tears....
I LOVE YOU~
Hugs always~
Netty
Joni you are such a beautiful person inside and out. You are as I have always said an angel and I am sure that God recognizes all the good that you do.
BLess you heart
Patti
hey joni...check your fb messages! :-)
xoxoxo
Hi there Joni. Thank you for your transparent thoughts here. Yes spending that quiet and clearing time with God is so very important and it is so easy for me to forget to do in the midst of everything.
Blessings to you today.
Very well spoken, but I expect nothing less! I was so happy to hear you are still feeding the homeless. You are truly blessed by your blessings of others!
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